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Karma: 6 |  | Awakening, by Martin Nelson
« Thread Started on Jun 30, 2007, 2:02am » | ![[Quote]](http://s2.images.proboards.com/buttons/quote.gif "[Quote]") |
Comment on this short story here, or if you haven't yet read it you can do so by going to: Awakening
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Jack Murrayfield
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Joined: Mar 2008
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Karma: 0 | | Re: Awakening
« Reply #1 on Oct 27, 2008, 2:07am » | |
I liked the beginning and the introduction of Hal. I like that he is average and boring. However, whilst I see what you were trying to do the end definately needs re-working it is far too trite and cliched.
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